Million Dollar Arm post-credits teaser

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT

JON HAMM enters his darkened home. He nods and sighs, triumphant. He flicks on the lights— and GASPS! Sitting in his chair is JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.

JT: A million dollar arm isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? …A BILLION dollar arm.

A beat - then Hamm smiles.

HAMM: Let’s do this.

FREEZE FRAME. “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” plays. The entire 3:59 song.

FADE TO BLACK

Disney stock goes up 8000%.

The Grand Canyon. Breathtaking in its beauty and just as mysterious. No one quite knows what the Grand Canyon is, or just how it got here. Some believe it’s the work of aliens from a far off world. Others say the Indians built it to house their games of Indian football. And religious folks will tell you it’s the gash where God fucked the earth with His celestial dick. Wow. Just imagine that!

No, I don’t think we’ll ever truly know the true story behind the Grand Canyon. But one truth I do know is: at the Grand Canyon, the views are truly GRAAAAAAND.

In loving memory of Huell Howser

The Grand Canyon. Breathtaking in its beauty and just as mysterious. No one quite knows what the Grand Canyon is, or just how it got here. Some believe it’s the work of aliens from a far off world. Others say the Indians built it to house their games of Indian football. And religious folks will tell you it’s the gash where God fucked the earth with His celestial dick. Wow. Just imagine that!

No, I don’t think we’ll ever truly know the true story behind the Grand Canyon. But one truth I do know is: at the Grand Canyon, the views are truly GRAAAAAAND.

In loving memory of Huell Howser

Weird sponsored post in my Facebook feed.

Weird sponsored post in my Facebook feed.

My Wife Attempts to Put My Baseball Viewing in Perspective

"It’s like if I were to watch an episode of Project Runway, only it was three hours long and there was a new episode EVERY DAY. For what feels like six, SEVEN, EIGHT MONTHS IN A ROW. And sometimes there’s more than one episode per day because sometimes after watching the Detroit version of Project Runway, I like to put on the LA version and see what they’re designing that day. And then after I’ve watched SEVERAL HOURS of different Project Runways, I turn on a show that just plays highlights of all the Project Runway designs from earlier that day. And I just let this play in the background while I go on my iPad and read news and blogs and tweets about Project Runway. ‘Cause, like, I gotta know if that one designer is getting traded to a new Project Runway, or if that other designer did steroids.” 

At least, I think that’s what she said, I don’t know, I was watching the ballgame.

The moment before I enter any big Hollywood meeting, I send these gals in first.

The moment before I enter any big Hollywood meeting, I send these gals in first.

Lot of people said the Heat would CRUSH an NHL team - kudos to the Hawks for pushing them to a Game 7.

Lot of people said the Heat would CRUSH an NHL team - kudos to the Hawks for pushing them to a Game 7.

at Behind the Candelabra

at Behind the Candelabra

Remember to take time today to send your mom your contacts.

Remember to take time today to send your mom your contacts.

My loving mother passes along a great new money-making scheme.

My loving mother passes along a great new money-making scheme.