Chris Kula

1. Select any Harry Potter title from your bookshelf.
2. Flip open to any page.
3. Find the sentence(s) that, when read out of context, can most easily be made into a sexual innuendo.

Some examples I pulled just now from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:

(page 220) Dean got into bed, rolled over, and fell silent. Neville, who appeared to have nothing more to say either, was gazing fondly at his moonlit cactus.

(page 490) “Didn’t you say You-Know-Who’s got a snake, Harry?” asked Fred. “A massive one? You saw it the night he returned, didn’t you?”

(page 684) “Listen,” he whispered. “Can yeh come with me? Now? While ev’ryone’s watchin’ the match?”
“Er, can’t it wait, Hagrid,” asked Harry. “‘Till the match is over?”
“No,” said Hagrid. “No, Harry, it’s gotta be now. While ev’ryone’s lookin’ the other way… Please?”

DISCLAIMER: Expect many “wand”-based innuendos. If Harry’s not “raising his wand expectantly” or “pointing his wand into the dark corridor,” he’s “fingering his wand beneath his cloak.”