My thoughts, had a time-traveler come back to 2009 to show me this 2012 graphic:

1) Kris Humphries?! Number 1??? What does he do in the future, murder a blonde and her waiter friend? 

2) Whoa, LeBron is on THE HEAT?? (Time-Traveler explains “The Decision”) Wait, he really actually for real says, “I’m going to take my talents to South Beach”? Oh, FUUUUCK HIIIIM.

3) Kobe, #3. Huh. Seems low.

4) Tony Parker? Wait, let me guess— he and Eva Longoria break up because… oh! Ha, because he’s sleeping with a teammate’s wife! (beat) Oh, for real?

5) So at what point in the future do we make first contact with the alien “Metta World Peace”?

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